Fucked Up Boyfriends, Unemployment and Living the Life Without a Yacht

Shhh… I am trying to sleep thank you. I mean, I am trying to read.                   No, I meant, I am trying to Sleep.                                                                                       Oh wait, no I’m not. Because I’m much too intelligent for such a thing. Its science, read below.

But first, listen to this bedtime story of how I could never sleep as a kid, nor really as an adult either. I’m not exactly a morning person, neither am I an afternoon person. If you catch me before 11:59 am, the probability that I will be myself, my bitchy self,  is not too probable, probably. Well, its hard to say it fluctuates actually.

One of my jokes in my stand up routine includes a brief example of all of my most bizarre and irregular sleeping patterns.

I quote myself, “So, my father wants me to get a job, and I get it, I’m 27, I mean I think I’m a little old to be getting a summer job, but I won’t fight him on this. I just don’t understand why, he has to wake me up in the middle of the afternoon, its like clockwork, everyweek, Tuesday 4:30 pm”

No Child Left Behind… Except Me

Most nights, I don’t sleep too well. And even when I drink heavily, I’ll totally pass out, but funny, I will wake up after 2 or 3 hours of passing out, and stay up for quite a bit. Even though this has always been an issue for me, not the drinking heavily, but the trouble sleeping bit.  As a child, I would stay up all night. Sometimes, I would cry, and cry, and cry for books. I believe this crying was in actuality, out of boredom. Yes, hand to g-d truth. I believe I used to cry out of complete and total boredom. I would not only stay up all night, and cry, as a child, but I would cry for “book”. I would say over and over, “book, (sniffle, sniffle) book”. This was of course was one of the darkest times of my life, the Dark Ages, where I was too young to have a television in my room, and I was too young to read to myself, I was 14. No I’m just kidding, I was like 4ish. So not to overindulge the story, not only could I not sleep but I wanted to be active, I wanted to imagine, and even though I could technically read to myself, I had nothing in common with bears, or a homeless spider named Charlotte, I needed something more mature for my age, and a more mature reading level. I wanted to hear more about this “Bonfire of the Vanities”, oh Tom Wolfe, one of my childhood fav’s.  But its always been such a problem this sleeping thing, and what is even more bizarre, is that I could never get up as a kid either. I remember the HELL of getting up every morning, and going to school. And of course, just to add more fuel to the fire, I was the only one in my family who was too smart to sleep.

So here is some science, to back all this up.

Why Night Owls Are More Intelligent than Morning Larks

Some people are night owls, and others are morning larks.  What makes the difference may be their levels of general intelligence.

Virtually all species in nature, from single-cell organisms to mammals, including humans, exhibit a daily cycle of activity called circadian rhythm.  The circadian rhythm in mammals is regulated by two clusters of nerve cells called the suprachiasmatic nuclei (SCN) in the anterior hypothalamus.  Geneticists have by now identified a set of genes that regulate the SCN and thus the circadian rhythm among mammals.

However, humans, unlike other mammalian species, have the unique ability, consciously and cognitively, to override their internal biological clock and its rhythmic outputs.  In other words, at least for humans, circadian rhythm is not entirely a matter of genetics.  Within broad genetic constraints, humans can choose what time to go to bed and get up.  Humans can choose to be night owls or morning larks.

Next time you see a morning person, just tell them to read my blog. If they have time, out of their dumb schedules.

Wow, we’re Human Beings. We can choose things? Well, the smarter, more intelligent humans “choose” and the other inferior humans must then, in fact follow.

Bahhhhh… Bahhhh.. Bahhhhh…

An analysis of a large representative sample of young Americans confirms this prediction.  Net of a large number of social and demographic factors, more intelligent children grow up to be more nocturnal as adults than less intelligent children.  Compared to their less intelligent counterparts, more intelligent individuals go do bed later on weeknights (when they have to get up at a certain time the next day) and on weekend (when they don’t), and they wake up later on weekdays (but not on weekend, for which the positive effect of childhood intelligence on adult nocturnality is not statistically significant).  For example, those with childhood IQ of less than 75 (“very dull”) go to bed around 23:41 on weeknight in early adulthood, whereas those with childhood IQ of over 125 (“very bright”) go to bed around 00:29.

To read more about about this article click on this link

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201005/why-night-owls-are-more-intelligent-morning-larks

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